Relationships For The Long Term

Top Tips On How To Have A Long Lasting Relationship

We all plan our relationships for the long term and it usually starts with us asking ourselves "is this the one?" Well, there's an old saying that says “Love conquers all”, and at first glance, it might look wonderful and everlasting but most of the time, love does seem to go stale after a while. Of course, this is not to say that all couples go through this stage, but some do and they often need help and guidance to save their dying relationship. This fact is also visible in the rising number of divorces, with an estimated 50% of marriages ending in court. That's one of the reasons to know and apply some of the best five tips to make sure your love stands the test of time:

Tip 1: Keep up the spark with frequent dates

Almost all couples go through a beginning phase which involves a lot of dating. During this stage the attraction builds up, the romantic and interesting things occur and both of the partners are interested in maintaining the initial spark. On the other hand, most couples, after they get married, they fail to continue this very healthy and exciting process of dating. They head directly to a world of boredom, routine and rules, which is a recipe for disaster in the long run. They no longer create magic in their relationship, they no longer go out to events, and ultimately fail to communicate on a personal, romantic level, a thing that was so normal back during the dating days. Try to get out of this rut as quickly as possible and try to spend a relaxing day at the aquarium or museum and go to a fine restaurant in the evening. It will do wonders.

 

Tip 2: Postpone the wedding

Most marriages occur after at least a year or two of dating, but there is an increasing trend in marrying earlier. Couples which are eager to tie the knot after a short dating period have an increased risk of divorce mainly because they don't get to know themselves better and fail to function as a whole. What's more, after a period of prolonged dating, many personality traits become visible which may otherwise be ignored or missed. There are many relationships that begin great in the warmth of the spring, but end dramatically during the cold winter. 

Tip 3: Don't be afraid to communicate and express your feelings

As the relationship matures, many partners tend to overlook their special one's accomplishments, feelings or desires. Also, some of them stop to praise each other as somebody special, just because that after all those years, they assume they already know what they are thinking. In fact, partners should support, praise and acknowledge the other partner's feelings, desires and sadness. You can compliment your partner on their cooking, on their new hairstyle or whatever you feel like, but remember to always make him or her feel loved, appreciated and respected. 

Tip 4: Listen and understand your partner

This is one of the parts where most maturing couples can fail and end up hurting their special one. These couples are often heard saying “He/She is not like he used to be, I just can't understand him/her anymore”. To stop this issue from occurring in a relationship, each partner should be interested and knowledgeable as to their partner's special needs, career and professional life or family issues. Sometimes, partners are not interested in having a meaningful conversation about sensitive issues that revolve around their loved ones. You should try and talk about their favorite hobby more often or their favorite sport, and generally act interested about the other one's life and challenges. In the long run, you will feel better connected with your loved one and the couple will be tighter than ever. 

Tip 5: Deal with the important questions

This is the difficult step, which many of us fear. The big questions, as they are popularly known, are for instance “Do you want children?”, “Should we move abroad?”, “Should we set up a family business?” and they must be properly debated in a couple, as they can cause serious long term issues. Most divorces are caused by the irreconcilable differences to answers regarding this type of questions. Simply put, the spouses fail to reach a common agreement and find this fracture non fixable. However, this must not be the outcome if the couple is able to communicate and respect their loved one's desires. These are issues that need to be discussed thoroughly as it can affect the marriage at numerous levels. Things like family finance, sex, religion, housing, future career prospects can be difficult topics to master when they are not agreed upon in the earlier stages of the relationship. 

In conclusion, even though people are different and have separate desires, aspirations and needs, through a process of communication, listening and debate, each marriage can stand the test of time. Of course, this is possible only if the couple is bounded by the most serene feeling, love.

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